Cleese nursed his beer. He had to sit up straight on his barstool because slouching hurt the his bruises. Three weeks of going after Leo Nimmie had earned him three cracked ribs, a dislocated arm, and a blotchy blue and purple torso. It wasn't the pain that bothered Cleese; he could just shrug that off. What bothered him was that he was the one attacking Leo, and yet Leo had no marks or injuries. Meanwhile, Cleese couldn't take off his shirt because of his bruised abs. And he used to love showing off his abs.
It was that damn body armor. Cleese figured there had to be at least one exposed area he could exploit: eye spots, joints, something, but Leo was invulnerable. Cleese had no idea what that hide was made of, but everywhere he shot or stabbed just glanced off. Leo would just roar in anger and maul Cleese with his giant fists, his pointed knuckledusters glistening like claws.
A woman slinked up to Cleese's side and took a seat next to him, her foot strategically settling on his leg. Cleese instinctively flexed his muscles and spread his legs to give her a better peek. "You're Harry Cleese, aren't you," she asked demurely. Cleese just nodded while he checked the woman out. "Big Zed's son," she continued, "enforcer for the ol' Empian family, one of the team that pulled off the heist against the Argos family." Cleese just nodded along as he was absorbed in the woman's curves. The woman leaned in close and whispered, "currently after a hit on Leo Nimmie."
Cleese snapped out of his daze and lifted the woman by her throat with one hand. The bartender, Dino, was a member of the family so he nonchalantly clicked the "closed" sign and pulled the blinds. "Who are you," Cleese snarled. "Someone who's willing to help in exchange for help," the woman choked. Cleese dropped her and she crumpled to the floor. "Talk," he demanded.
"I've been living with Leo for a few months," the woman explained. "He was exciting at first: that wild mane of hair, those deep eyes looking at me like I was his prey. But the man's a beast. I was done after two weeks and was ready to leave. But you can't just leave a man like Leo. I figured if I helped you with your job, it would ultimately help me." "And what can you do," Cleese asked suspiciously. The woman stood and brushed herself off. "I can get you in his house."
As they entered the bedroom, Cleese took notice of everything in the room: queen-sized bed in the corner with a side table, a small chest of drawers, and a small closet. It was all pretty basic, but something seemed off to Cleese. He forgot about it when the woman came in close and started unbuttoning his shirt. "You know," she purred as she slipped his shirt and shoulder holster down his arms, "Leo won't be home for another few hours. Maybe we can find a way to pass the time together." She leaned in and kissed him as she pulled his shirt and holster all the way off, leaving him with just his pants and a wife-beater. "I think I need to change first," she whispered as she walked towards the bathroom still holding his shirt and weapons.
Cleese sat down on the bed as he watched her walk away. He relaxed on the bed and studied the room more closely. What was wrong with this room? He rolled over to other side of the bed and hit the wall, and then something else hit him. Why would a two person bed be against the wall? He sat up slowly and called out to the woman, "what time does Leo usually get home?' "How would she know," a strange voice growled back. "She doesn't live here."
Leo's large body emerged from the bathroom. He was covered head-to-toe in his armored hide. He flew at Cleese with a roar. Cleese rolled off the bed, just avoiding the gleaming edges of Leo's knuckledusters. He tried to throw a punch up as Leo flew overhead, but it glanced off the armor. Leo circled him like a cat. They grabbed each other in wrestling holds, but neither could get the advantage. Their faces were right up against each other, Leo's breath hot in Cleese's ear. Cleese was wondering how he could breathe through that material when it hit him. Armor or not, the guy still needed to breathe.
With new vigor, Cleese adjusted his hold and got a firm grip around his throat. Leo took a couple swipes at him, but Cleese just twisted around him. The armor had a stiff collar protecting the neck but it was still flexible enough to allow movement. Cleese put all the strength he had on the throat until the collar bent inward and Leo slowly lost his energy. Cleese released the body, and it fell to the floor. Nothing left but to remove the armor and take the body to Gene.
Cleese found his holster in the bathroom which was expectedly free of any curvaceous women. He pulled his knife to cut off the armor since he couldn't find any openings. The knife, of course, couldn't slice the impenetrable armor. He tried everything, but eventually had call for help. His sister Minnie, suggested using one of Leo's own blades. "No sense in creating armor you yourself can't destroy" she reasoned. That's why she led tactics for the family. Cleese pulled Leo's knuckledusters off his fingers and used the short blades to slice easily through the hide. He slipped into the armor himself and dragged Leo out by his wild mane.
*More to come in Part 3 "The Hired Serpents"
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